Here is a useful artical on stress
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/6574757.stm
All stress can be tackled. Now I work on line with people to help them reduce their stress.
Showing posts with label Shyness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Shyness. Show all posts
Monday, April 23, 2007
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Phobias and Holidays
I have just been watching today’s edition of ‘Doctors’ (BBC1 2.05). It was called ‘Wings and Needles’. Part of the synopsis = “two newlyweds suffer from secret phobias.” The newlyweds were going to visit the family of the wife. They live in India. Therefore they will fly and also need injections. However she is phobic of flying and he of needles. Both these are very common. The twist to the story is that nether have told the other of this problem.
How does the story pan out? Well the wife is having hypnotherapy for the phobia. And for once the process was reasonably accurate. (Thank you Tim Sanders (the writer)) The hypnotherapist used systematic desensitisation (SD) when she was in a gentle level trance. It was not instant; there was no swinging watches; and she didn’t go around after clucking like a chicken.
On the other hand the husband goes to have the injection. He tries to get out of it in every way he can; he is rude and aggressive; when he sees the needle he faints. All this is very common in a person suffering from a phobia. The practice nurse tries to use a phobia cure on him but he runs, again a very common behaviour. She claim 100% success rate with patients and needle phobia, this may well be true.
Anyway after some confusion and embarrassment, both wife and husband are cured and all turns out loving and lovely.
So - what about real life? Here I need to say a few things about phobias:
1 - Fear is the bodies’ preparation for you to ether put up a fight or run; it is called fight / flight. It is the base of all strong emotions. We learn most of what we are frightened of, little is genetic. This is why you have to put a fire guard around a fire and socket covers over electric plugs when children are around. They haven yet learnt to be frightened of them.
2 – We learn most fears. Sometimes we mis-learn and therefore something which is completely harmless gets linked to a fight/flight reaction. This is why some people get phobic to that which others cannot understand. Sometimes even telling the person to “just pull yourself together!” This is as useless a helping tool as a chocolate teapot. For the person suffering the reaction is every bit as powerful as if someone was holding a gun to their head. The fact that the reaction is out of proportion to the objects threat does not come into it. The learning of the fear is as deep as the learning that if you press a handle on a door down or turn it – the door opens.
3 – Being frightened of something that can harm you is not a phobia.
I was assisting Paul McKenna in one of his phobia workshops. A guy who had had all his phobias extinguished the day before remarked that there was still a problem. Paul asked what this was. The guy replied that the night before, at 11 o’clock at night, he had to walk to his hotel which was the other side of Hide Park and he was frightened.
Paul remarked that that’s not a phobia, it was his body telling him its dangerous and so it was preparing him for that possibility.
4 – A dislike in not a phobia.
Some people say to me that “Ooh I just don’t like the way spiders move.” My question to that is; “do you get very anxious or even panic?” if the answer is “No!” then its not a phobia is a dislike. This can also be cured. If however you get a fear reaction in the form of anxiety or panic then it is likely to be a phobia.
5 – Many people suffering from a phobia feel that it is incurable.
The most important point of this entry is – ALL PHOBIAS ARE CURABLE. By the very nature of a phobia being irrational in the sense of the object being non-harmful, using the right techniques, any and all phobias will go. Most hypnotherapist and NLP practitioners deal with phobias with ease. Most are based on the simple but effective technique of gradual exposure to the object whilst very relaxed or hypnotized. However NLP had at least seven fast phobia cures which work very well without direct exposure. This is particularly useful in some cases where the client cannot even bare to think of the object. Another, powerful technique is TFT. This is like acupuncture without the needles.
I have used all the above successfully with many clients. It is true now – no one need suffer with a phobia any more.
If you have a phobia please read more on my web site. Help is at hand and if you are in the Milton Keynes area, call me 01908 674 062, otherwise the two societies (SSM) (Hypnotherapy Association) will be pleased to guild you to a well trained and experienced therapist who will be please to help.
How does the story pan out? Well the wife is having hypnotherapy for the phobia. And for once the process was reasonably accurate. (Thank you Tim Sanders (the writer)) The hypnotherapist used systematic desensitisation (SD) when she was in a gentle level trance. It was not instant; there was no swinging watches; and she didn’t go around after clucking like a chicken.
On the other hand the husband goes to have the injection. He tries to get out of it in every way he can; he is rude and aggressive; when he sees the needle he faints. All this is very common in a person suffering from a phobia. The practice nurse tries to use a phobia cure on him but he runs, again a very common behaviour. She claim 100% success rate with patients and needle phobia, this may well be true.
Anyway after some confusion and embarrassment, both wife and husband are cured and all turns out loving and lovely.
So - what about real life? Here I need to say a few things about phobias:
1 - Fear is the bodies’ preparation for you to ether put up a fight or run; it is called fight / flight. It is the base of all strong emotions. We learn most of what we are frightened of, little is genetic. This is why you have to put a fire guard around a fire and socket covers over electric plugs when children are around. They haven yet learnt to be frightened of them.
2 – We learn most fears. Sometimes we mis-learn and therefore something which is completely harmless gets linked to a fight/flight reaction. This is why some people get phobic to that which others cannot understand. Sometimes even telling the person to “just pull yourself together!” This is as useless a helping tool as a chocolate teapot. For the person suffering the reaction is every bit as powerful as if someone was holding a gun to their head. The fact that the reaction is out of proportion to the objects threat does not come into it. The learning of the fear is as deep as the learning that if you press a handle on a door down or turn it – the door opens.
3 – Being frightened of something that can harm you is not a phobia.
I was assisting Paul McKenna in one of his phobia workshops. A guy who had had all his phobias extinguished the day before remarked that there was still a problem. Paul asked what this was. The guy replied that the night before, at 11 o’clock at night, he had to walk to his hotel which was the other side of Hide Park and he was frightened.
Paul remarked that that’s not a phobia, it was his body telling him its dangerous and so it was preparing him for that possibility.
4 – A dislike in not a phobia.
Some people say to me that “Ooh I just don’t like the way spiders move.” My question to that is; “do you get very anxious or even panic?” if the answer is “No!” then its not a phobia is a dislike. This can also be cured. If however you get a fear reaction in the form of anxiety or panic then it is likely to be a phobia.
5 – Many people suffering from a phobia feel that it is incurable.
The most important point of this entry is – ALL PHOBIAS ARE CURABLE. By the very nature of a phobia being irrational in the sense of the object being non-harmful, using the right techniques, any and all phobias will go. Most hypnotherapist and NLP practitioners deal with phobias with ease. Most are based on the simple but effective technique of gradual exposure to the object whilst very relaxed or hypnotized. However NLP had at least seven fast phobia cures which work very well without direct exposure. This is particularly useful in some cases where the client cannot even bare to think of the object. Another, powerful technique is TFT. This is like acupuncture without the needles.
I have used all the above successfully with many clients. It is true now – no one need suffer with a phobia any more.
If you have a phobia please read more on my web site. Help is at hand and if you are in the Milton Keynes area, call me 01908 674 062, otherwise the two societies (SSM) (Hypnotherapy Association) will be pleased to guild you to a well trained and experienced therapist who will be please to help.
Monday, January 1, 2007
Happy New Year
What’s Your New Years Resolutions
What do you want to achieve or change this year? Stopping smoking; get slimmer; get fitter; get healthier; learn more; do more of this – more of that; get happy.
Barriers to change
Whatever your goal, for most the good intentions last until little more than January 7th. Why might this be? Below is listed some of the reasons why:
Lack of motivation
For some there is no real motivation to change because it is not they who want the change, it is their partner/parent/teacher/child or so. The driving person may use the label – lazy. There is no such thing as laziness, that is just a emotive word used to try and shock a person into change. You, the person who is meant to change cannot see why you need to. Therefore no change.
So how to get the motivation to change. Focus on what YOU will gain out of the results. These need to be tangible, i.e. you can SEE how it will make your life so much better. And what you see must mean a lot to you. It is no use having some vague notion that passing a GCSE in English will help you become a landscape gardener. It is also difficult for some, especially young, to equate money with success. So what is it that £100,000 will give you that £10,000 wont? All of this needs to be made visual. Get pictures and other visual reminders of reminders of your goals and make a wish board of them i.e. paste them to it. Then put the board where you will see it every day.
Remember- No motivation = no change
Wrong motivation
There are two basic kinds of resolution; to stop doing something or to start doing something. If it is to stop doing something then how do you sell yourself the wonderful way your life will be when it’s stopped? Lets take an example – smoking. I personally have now stopped hundreds of people to stop smoking. Most in one easy session although some might need a back up session (inclusive).
Smoking
With smokers there are a few (very few) who just cannot stop. Often it is because it is others who want them to stop or they just think it’s a good idea without any real desire. This I have looked at under lack of motivation.
For many people stopping smoking, the problem is willpower. Not the lack of it but misunderstanding it. Only 20% of people who want to stop using willpower alone succeed. The person who fails gets very embarrassed and usual start to think of themselves as inferior. This is not so. It is just the way our minds work. Tell it not to do something and it will do its utmost to make you do it. Some will proclaim loudly how they are ‘contrary’ – well it is the case that we all are, its just some of us use the pull – not the push. So what will you gain by stopping smoking.
You will also need to change the language you use. Stopping – Cessing – Quitting – Giving up – are all negative. So, how can you make the language positive? Well, when a person stops smoking they are indeed freeing themselves from a very addictive group of drugs (including nicotine), so why not use that? Therefore words like freedom, liberation, proud, and so on.
Just in time for resolutions there are a few articles in the newspapers to guide you.
Weight
We, over the Christmas do our best to eat and drink as many calories as we can. Well, this was the original purpose. There are two traditional methods for controlling weight; dieting and exercise.
Why is dieting one of the worse methods for controlling weight?
Often people who want to slim will often cut down on food drastically or just cut down. They often loose weight rapidly. This give them an ego boost and means they can look good for the summer.
Unfortunately this sends a message to the body telling it that you that there is a famine. The body responds by storing more fat as soon as you return to normal eating patterns.
Because of the nature of diets you have to come off and start to eat normally at sometime. This means returning to the patterns which put the weight on in the first place.
Dieting also gives a psychological message that YOU are FAT. The problem is not you but your behaviour. So it is important to tackle behaviour.
Eating problems are often triggered by a period of dieting or a stressful phase in which you have too many demands on your time and feel helpless.
The limits of exercise for controlling weight
Scientific evidence shows that exercise is one of the best methods for loosing weight. It stimulates the body to use up the unnecessary reserves of energy, it develops a good shape, it helps with self esteem and there are good health reasons for it too.
So why is it that people who use exercise as a method often fail to keep their weight under control. There are several reasons:
For some people exercise = eat
If you are doing exercise just to lose weight then you might have very negative feelings about it.
Exercise is often seen as chore
You will probably stop
Americans spend 33 billion dollars a year on products to help lose weight. Also a fortune on sport and gym facilities. YET the percentage of Americans considered overweight increases annually!!!
A helpful article:
Why the gym won't fix it
Rushing into exercise after festive overindulgence is the worst thing you can do, says Dr Simon Atkins
Thursday December 22, 2005
The Guardian
http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/experts/drsimonatkins/0,,1683248,00.html
Plenty of good suggestions for introducing exercise
There is another way:
New magic bullet - Pill that tricks you into losing weight
By JULIE WHELDON Last updated at 22:27pm on 26th December 2006, The Guardian
Interesting - however, people become fat not because of the lack of exercise or eating the wrong food or eating too much but because of the attitudes to each of them.
Happier solutions
Over the last few years I have been assisting Paul McKenna in his weight control programme (http://www.paulmckenna.com/ ). This is very effective and a load more fun. The basic principle is simply helping the body do its job. It knows what you need to weight and will correct itself when you listen to what it says. In his book, (I Can Make You Thin, (Bantam Press)£9.99) he outlines the 4 simple rules and give guidance on how to put them into practice. The rest of the book is all about making yourself happy. This is because most people over eat because they are unhappy.
Other Changes
There may be other changes, like more confidence, working harder, greater success that you want. Well do look up my web site for more information.
Terry Westwood website
What do you want to achieve or change this year? Stopping smoking; get slimmer; get fitter; get healthier; learn more; do more of this – more of that; get happy.
Barriers to change
Whatever your goal, for most the good intentions last until little more than January 7th. Why might this be? Below is listed some of the reasons why:
Lack of motivation
For some there is no real motivation to change because it is not they who want the change, it is their partner/parent/teacher/child or so. The driving person may use the label – lazy. There is no such thing as laziness, that is just a emotive word used to try and shock a person into change. You, the person who is meant to change cannot see why you need to. Therefore no change.
So how to get the motivation to change. Focus on what YOU will gain out of the results. These need to be tangible, i.e. you can SEE how it will make your life so much better. And what you see must mean a lot to you. It is no use having some vague notion that passing a GCSE in English will help you become a landscape gardener. It is also difficult for some, especially young, to equate money with success. So what is it that £100,000 will give you that £10,000 wont? All of this needs to be made visual. Get pictures and other visual reminders of reminders of your goals and make a wish board of them i.e. paste them to it. Then put the board where you will see it every day.
Remember- No motivation = no change
Wrong motivation
There are two basic kinds of resolution; to stop doing something or to start doing something. If it is to stop doing something then how do you sell yourself the wonderful way your life will be when it’s stopped? Lets take an example – smoking. I personally have now stopped hundreds of people to stop smoking. Most in one easy session although some might need a back up session (inclusive).
Smoking
With smokers there are a few (very few) who just cannot stop. Often it is because it is others who want them to stop or they just think it’s a good idea without any real desire. This I have looked at under lack of motivation.
For many people stopping smoking, the problem is willpower. Not the lack of it but misunderstanding it. Only 20% of people who want to stop using willpower alone succeed. The person who fails gets very embarrassed and usual start to think of themselves as inferior. This is not so. It is just the way our minds work. Tell it not to do something and it will do its utmost to make you do it. Some will proclaim loudly how they are ‘contrary’ – well it is the case that we all are, its just some of us use the pull – not the push. So what will you gain by stopping smoking.
You will also need to change the language you use. Stopping – Cessing – Quitting – Giving up – are all negative. So, how can you make the language positive? Well, when a person stops smoking they are indeed freeing themselves from a very addictive group of drugs (including nicotine), so why not use that? Therefore words like freedom, liberation, proud, and so on.
Just in time for resolutions there are a few articles in the newspapers to guide you.
Weight
We, over the Christmas do our best to eat and drink as many calories as we can. Well, this was the original purpose. There are two traditional methods for controlling weight; dieting and exercise.
Why is dieting one of the worse methods for controlling weight?
Often people who want to slim will often cut down on food drastically or just cut down. They often loose weight rapidly. This give them an ego boost and means they can look good for the summer.
Unfortunately this sends a message to the body telling it that you that there is a famine. The body responds by storing more fat as soon as you return to normal eating patterns.
Because of the nature of diets you have to come off and start to eat normally at sometime. This means returning to the patterns which put the weight on in the first place.
Dieting also gives a psychological message that YOU are FAT. The problem is not you but your behaviour. So it is important to tackle behaviour.
Eating problems are often triggered by a period of dieting or a stressful phase in which you have too many demands on your time and feel helpless.
The limits of exercise for controlling weight
Scientific evidence shows that exercise is one of the best methods for loosing weight. It stimulates the body to use up the unnecessary reserves of energy, it develops a good shape, it helps with self esteem and there are good health reasons for it too.
So why is it that people who use exercise as a method often fail to keep their weight under control. There are several reasons:
For some people exercise = eat
If you are doing exercise just to lose weight then you might have very negative feelings about it.
Exercise is often seen as chore
You will probably stop
Americans spend 33 billion dollars a year on products to help lose weight. Also a fortune on sport and gym facilities. YET the percentage of Americans considered overweight increases annually!!!
A helpful article:
Why the gym won't fix it
Rushing into exercise after festive overindulgence is the worst thing you can do, says Dr Simon Atkins
Thursday December 22, 2005
The Guardian
http://lifeandhealth.guardian.co.uk/experts/drsimonatkins/0,,1683248,00.html
Plenty of good suggestions for introducing exercise
There is another way:
New magic bullet - Pill that tricks you into losing weight
By JULIE WHELDON Last updated at 22:27pm on 26th December 2006, The Guardian
Interesting - however, people become fat not because of the lack of exercise or eating the wrong food or eating too much but because of the attitudes to each of them.
Happier solutions
Over the last few years I have been assisting Paul McKenna in his weight control programme (http://www.paulmckenna.com/ ). This is very effective and a load more fun. The basic principle is simply helping the body do its job. It knows what you need to weight and will correct itself when you listen to what it says. In his book, (I Can Make You Thin, (Bantam Press)£9.99) he outlines the 4 simple rules and give guidance on how to put them into practice. The rest of the book is all about making yourself happy. This is because most people over eat because they are unhappy.
Other Changes
There may be other changes, like more confidence, working harder, greater success that you want. Well do look up my web site for more information.
Terry Westwood website
Friday, December 22, 2006
Christmas is a Coming
Christmas is a time of joy! Is it? For some, all Christmas does is throw into sharp relief just how many and how deep their problems are.
For some, constant pain – crippling debt – family problems – relationship problems – or it could be painful shyness that spoils the season of good will. And isn’t there always someone to remind you that it could be worse so cheer up.
I, for a moment would like to dispel the notion that it is all your own fault. If you could avoid the problem you would. And if you know how to stop the problem, you would. So therefore what is missing in the solutions to these problems?
Debt
After you have started the process of dealing with the owed money you need to deal with the reasons why you got into trouble in the first place. Was it emotional needs? Was it that you slipped into debt so gradually you did not notice? Was it that you earn so little it makes it hard to have enough to live on?
Each of the causes has a cure. Part of the debt solution will include some of what is needed. However you may need to develop even greater power over your money. Coaching, NLP and hypnosis can build such power, helping you to take control of your finances and make them work for you.
Family problems
For most, even with the high divorce rate, family is a rock. For some though their family is the cause of their problems not the resolution, just watch any of the TV
‘show’s of the Trisha type. Rows; ill feeling; misunderstandings; feuds, and the like can blight the jolly and festive season.
Often talking over the problems you are having with a trained person who will listen without judgement; with genuine respect and regard; and who will help you to see things more clearly, more focused. This is called counselling. And when counselling is linked to coaching or hypnotherapy – it becomes a very powerful tool to help you become more in control of your own future.
Relationship problems
The pressure of Christmas can force cracks in a otherwise loving and supportive relationship. Jealousy; distrusted; feelings of rejection; feeling undervalued, all of these can start a vicious spiral into breaking up. Taking steps early can revive and renew the relationship. Counselling with a couples counsellor is very helpful. Relate is probably the best, however there are many counsellors who have been trained by Relate. I personally do not do couples counselling as this is a particular skill.
If a relationship fails it takes time to overcome the links with the ex partner. Even if it was you who chose to stop, it still hurts. There are all the incriminations; ‘What could I have done to save it?’ All the ‘might have beens’; All the same places and people; and all that you shared.
Hypnotherapy, NLP and counselling are there to help lessen the blow and help you gain control for yourself.See my web site for more information.
Shyness
Shyness can be so debilitating. The lack of confidence and esteem that is shyness stops the shy person fulfilling that most basic of needs, to have friends and more so, that special relationship which gives so much. There can, and is often, a lack of social skills. Research shows that people who lack the ability to read body language also are more at risk from psychological illness. This is also true of people who do not form good friendships.
NLP with hypnosis can build for you, confidence and esteem. Also training in body language and rapport greatly changes your ability to form relationships. How different life will be.
For all the above – if you want more information please feel free to look at my web site.
Merry Christmas to you all.
For some, constant pain – crippling debt – family problems – relationship problems – or it could be painful shyness that spoils the season of good will. And isn’t there always someone to remind you that it could be worse so cheer up.
I, for a moment would like to dispel the notion that it is all your own fault. If you could avoid the problem you would. And if you know how to stop the problem, you would. So therefore what is missing in the solutions to these problems?
Debt
After you have started the process of dealing with the owed money you need to deal with the reasons why you got into trouble in the first place. Was it emotional needs? Was it that you slipped into debt so gradually you did not notice? Was it that you earn so little it makes it hard to have enough to live on?
Each of the causes has a cure. Part of the debt solution will include some of what is needed. However you may need to develop even greater power over your money. Coaching, NLP and hypnosis can build such power, helping you to take control of your finances and make them work for you.
Family problems
For most, even with the high divorce rate, family is a rock. For some though their family is the cause of their problems not the resolution, just watch any of the TV
‘show’s of the Trisha type. Rows; ill feeling; misunderstandings; feuds, and the like can blight the jolly and festive season.
Often talking over the problems you are having with a trained person who will listen without judgement; with genuine respect and regard; and who will help you to see things more clearly, more focused. This is called counselling. And when counselling is linked to coaching or hypnotherapy – it becomes a very powerful tool to help you become more in control of your own future.
Relationship problems
The pressure of Christmas can force cracks in a otherwise loving and supportive relationship. Jealousy; distrusted; feelings of rejection; feeling undervalued, all of these can start a vicious spiral into breaking up. Taking steps early can revive and renew the relationship. Counselling with a couples counsellor is very helpful. Relate is probably the best, however there are many counsellors who have been trained by Relate. I personally do not do couples counselling as this is a particular skill.
If a relationship fails it takes time to overcome the links with the ex partner. Even if it was you who chose to stop, it still hurts. There are all the incriminations; ‘What could I have done to save it?’ All the ‘might have beens’; All the same places and people; and all that you shared.
Hypnotherapy, NLP and counselling are there to help lessen the blow and help you gain control for yourself.See my web site for more information.
Shyness
Shyness can be so debilitating. The lack of confidence and esteem that is shyness stops the shy person fulfilling that most basic of needs, to have friends and more so, that special relationship which gives so much. There can, and is often, a lack of social skills. Research shows that people who lack the ability to read body language also are more at risk from psychological illness. This is also true of people who do not form good friendships.
NLP with hypnosis can build for you, confidence and esteem. Also training in body language and rapport greatly changes your ability to form relationships. How different life will be.
For all the above – if you want more information please feel free to look at my web site.
Merry Christmas to you all.
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